Funny Letters Written By Kids To God

What would be kids thinking while writing a letter to God??? 

These are some funny lines written by kids to god.

Dear God,

Thank you for the baby brother, but I prayed for a puppy.
Joyce

Dear God,

My father told me about being born, but that doesn't sound right. He was kidding, right?
Marsha

Dear God,

Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

Dear God,

Did you really mean, "Do unto others as they do unto you?" Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother!
Darla

Dear God,

We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School they said you did it. So I bet he stole your idea.
Dona

Dear God,

I bet it is very hard for you to love all of the people in the whole world. There are only four people in our whole family and I can never do it.
Nan

Dear God,

If we come back as something else, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
Love,

Dannie

Dear God,

In Bible times did they really talk that fancy?
Suzy

Dear God,

What does it mean you are a jealous God? I thought you had everything.
Jane

Dear God,

It rained for our whole vacation and my father was mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you won't hurt him anyway.
Your friend (I'm not going to tell you my name.)

28 Funny one Liners to laugh

1. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
2. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
3. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
4. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
5. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
6. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
7. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
8. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
9. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
10. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
11. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
12. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
13. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
14. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
15. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
16. Procrastinate Now!
17. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
18. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
19. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
20. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
21. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
22. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
23. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
24. Ham and eggs, a day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
25. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
26. The original point and click inter face was a Smith & Wesson.
27. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.
28. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

20 very funny Husband and wife jokes

1. Husband texts to wife on cell."Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair…"
Husband: "Bloody English Language!”

2. An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. “Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.”
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"

3. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems,
No TV serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home..
Husband: What did the doctor say ?
Wife:- No chance for u to survive.

4. ''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"

5. Woman Buys A New SIM Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise
Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..

6. Cool Message by a woman:
Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children,
I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"

7. A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked - what happen son?
Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.

8. Lion bounced on wife
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..

9. Throwing knives on wife's picture
Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING U"

10. When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..

11. Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

12. What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

13. Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

14. Wife: honey, what r u looking 4?
Husband: nothing
Wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?
Husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

15. A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making a call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

16. Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

17. What if you don't see me for 2 days?
A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn't believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn't see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

18. Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell your Friend "U r my Best Friend"
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"

19. A recently fired stock trader said ...
"This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything and I still have my wife..."

20. Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why?
Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!

Best and Funny One Liner Jokes

Collection of best and funny one liners. keep visiting for more.

1) Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

2) Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

3) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4) I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5) Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

6) My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

7) It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

8) Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

9) Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

10) They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

11)  Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? 
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

12) Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

13) It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

14) There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

15) There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Collection of Best Indian PJs (Poor Jokes)

Collection of Best Indian PJs (Poor Jokes)

These are some of the best PJ collected over the time, enjoy and have fun. Keep visiting for more.

1. Tune mera dil toda
aur kiya mera
apmaan....!!!
.
Kya is bar duniya ko
bacha payega
Shaktiman....?

2. Santa: People consider me as a GOD.

Banta: How do you know??

Santa: Whenever I go to any place, people say "Hey bhagwan tu fir aa gaya"

3. After gr8 career Amitabh Bachchan takes rest,

wah wah,
.
After gr8 career Amitabh Bachchan takes rest,

wah wah,

Taste mein best, mummy aur everest.

4. There is a NOT gate which takes input as Sridevi and gives output as

Tabu.
HOW so?
Think

.

.
Because, Sridevi acted in a movie "Chandni"
and Tabu acted in a movie "Chandni Bar" ( ! Chandini Bar)

5. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well.

Luv falls into the well. Why???
Because Luv (love) is blind !!!!!
Now, Kush also jumps inside. Why???
Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!!!!

6. Who make Ganesh to Anesh...????

ThinK......

Think......

okay....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....

7. Raavan felt repentence one day for all his bad deeds. He felt that he

had really done a lot of bad things which affected Ram's life, so he
should apologise to Ram. He went to Ram's house and knocked on the
door.
Ram opened the door and was surprised to find Raavan.

Raavan also kept staring and thinking but didn't say a word..... Why

What was he thinking ?????
.
.
Kis mooh se maafi maangoon ?

8. Tumhari adaao pe main wari wari...

wah wah..

Tumhari adaao pe main wari wari...

wah wah..

Arre Yaar! Network me aa, teri awaaj nai aa rahi.

9. school me ladke line me khade the

pehle ladke ka naam jeet hai to uske pichewale ka naam kya hoga?
.

.

Darr !
Arre
Kyunki Darr ke aage Jeet hai.

10. Raat ko dekha maine ek sunder dream..

Raat ko dekha maine ek sunder dream..

Vico turmeric, Nahi cosmetic, Vico termeric ayurvedic cream!!

11. Ek baar ek gaaaoun mei ramu naam ka aadmi rehta hai..... wo shaher chala jaata hai....

jab wo sheher se waapas aata hai to wo bahut rich ho jaata hai jisse wo gaaoun mei aaalishaaan ghar banata hai.....

ek raat ko uske ghar chor aate hain.....

but

jaisii hii wo almaari kholte hiii bahut saarii name plates unke siiir pe aaker gir jaati hain.....

saaari almaariyo me,TIJORI mei....bedroom me.... sab jagah unhe name plates miltiii hain....

bataiye kyu..!


kyunki...!

Wo shaher se bahut naam kama ke laata hai.....!!!!!

How Examiners Take Viva In College

What is red and goes tring tring?
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.
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.

TOMATO
the tring tring was to confuse you.

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.

again
What is red and goes tring tring?

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BLACK PHONE
the red was to confuse you...

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again
What is red and goes tring tring?

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CAKE
both red and tring tring was to confuse you

.
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again
What is red and goes tring tring?

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FIRE BRIGADE
and you thought I was confusing you...

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that's how examiners take viva in college...

Funny Tech support and customer conversations

Funny Tech support and customer conversations.

1. Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one.

2. Customer: Hi, this is Priya. I can't get my DVD out!!!

Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.

Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.

3. Tech Support: Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: You’re left or my left?

4. Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?

Male Customer: Hi ... I can't print.

Tech Support: Would you click on 'START' for me and….

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates!!!

5. Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says . . . 'CAN'T FIND PRINTER'. I even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it!!!

6. Customer: I have problems printing in red.

Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah . . .. . . . Thank you.

7. Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11 store.

8. Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.

Customer: Okay..

Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes.

Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . .. . . . . Ah, that one does work. Thanks.

9. Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.

Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?

10. Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my co-worker do it.

Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

11. Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape

Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.

12. Customer: I have a huge problem! My friend has placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but, every time I move my mouse, it disappears.

13. Tech Support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first email.

Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.

14. A woman customer called the Canon help desk because

She had a problem with her printer.

Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by a window, and his printer is working fine!

Last and best one…!

15. Tech Support: Okay George, press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer: I don't have a 'P'.

Tech Support: On your keyboard, George.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech Support: 'P' . . . on your keyboard, George.

Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!