Collection of Very Funny Neil Nitin Mukesh Jokes

After Rajinikanth, CID, Anand Kejriwal, its time for Neil Nitin Mukesh Jokes. Here are some of tweets from twitter.com.

• Alok Nath has 3 Daughters and they are married to Neil Nitin Mukesh :)

• Neil Nitin Mukesh's girlfriend always complains ''2 log humey dekh rahe hain''.

• Each film of Neil Nitin Mukesh is considered a trilogy automatically.

• Neil Nitin Mukesh hates bikes since he was fined for triple riding.

• You can claim a hat trick after taking wicket of Neil Nitin Mukesh .

• Neil Nitin Mukesh is always on conference call.

• "Teenon bach gaye." - Gabbar Singh, after attempting to shoot Neil Nitin Mukesh.

• Two is company. Neil Nitin Mukesh is a crowd.

• Neil Nitin Mukesh has paid tribute to himself by appearing in a film called 3G.

• Neil Nitin Mukesh's movie are never superhit because 'Teen Tigaada Kaam Bigaada

• What do you mean Neil Nitin Mukesh's father isn't the author of "THREE Mistakes Of My Life"

• When Neil Nitin Mukesh uses iPod its called triPOd

• After Modi called Salman for lunch, Rahul Gandhi is planning to call Neil Nitin Mukesh for lunch, considering him as 3 votes.

• Neil Nitin Mukesh is the brand ambassador of Bagpiper, cuz "Khoob jamega rang, jab mil baithenge teen yaar…""

• Neil Nitin Mukesh votes for AAP, BJP and Congress respectively.

• Think thrice before you crack a joke on Neil Nitin Mukesh.

• KBC,Who was lead actor in Johny Gaddar? 1. Neil 2. Nitin 3. Mukesh 4. All of the above.

• When Neil Nitin Mukesh prepares Maggi , it got prepared in 2/3 minutes..

• The next 3 episodes of comedy night with kapil will feature Neil Nitin Mukesh.

• Neil Nitin Mukesh uses a triple SIM phone

• Neil Nitin Mukesh get 3 delivery reports for each sms he sends.

• Neil Nitin Mukesh is optimist, pessimist and realist.

• Neil Nitin Mukesh can be the new ambassador of Zandu balm because ek balm teen kaam..!

• Neil Nitin Mukesh is the only person involved in Love Triangle.

28 Funny one Liners to laugh

1. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
2. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
3. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
4. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
5. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
6. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
7. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
8. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
9. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
10. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
11. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
12. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
13. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
14. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
15. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
16. Procrastinate Now!
17. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
18. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
19. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
20. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
21. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
22. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
23. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
24. Ham and eggs, a day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
25. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
26. The original point and click inter face was a Smith & Wesson.
27. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.
28. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

Best and Funny One Liner Jokes

Collection of best and funny one liners. keep visiting for more.

1) Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

2) Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

3) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4) I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5) Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

6) My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

7) It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

8) Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

9) Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

10) They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

11)  Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? 
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

12) Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

13) It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

14) There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

15) There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Best Funny English Language Mistakes : Part 2

1. Take Copper Wire of any metal.
2. Take 5 cm wire of any length.
3. It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said "why is fan not oning" (ing form of ON).
4. Lab assistant said, "I understand. You understand. Computers how understand?? (In terms of 1's n 0's)
5. Master to his students by pointing his bike that is parked under a tree, "See there, my bike is understanding the tree!!!"
6. PT teacher, "Okay guys, all of you stand in a straight circle!”
7. There is no wind in the balloon.
8. Teacher to boy, angrily: I talk, he talk, why you middle-middle talk?
9. You, rotate the ground four times...!
10. You go and under-stand the tree...!
11. Three of you stand together separately.
12. Why are you late - say YES or NO ... (?)
13. Every body should wear dress to college
14. Boys no proplum.
15. Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big).
16. Girls should not wear T shirt, U shirt, V shirt, but if you want to wear. Remove it when inside the campus and put it outside the campus.
17. Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
18. Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half. 
19. Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.

Think on these funny laws

Think on it... you will find it true

1. LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 

2. LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone. 

3. LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. 

4. LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
5. LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss your excuse you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you really will have a flat tire.
6. BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
7. LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
9. LAW OF BIO-MECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10. THEATER RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
11. LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. LAW OF CONSULTANTS: Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot even administer, become consultants.

13. LAW OF SPECIALIZATION: People specialize in their area of greatest weakness

14. LAW OF ENEMIES: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

15. LAW OF ORGANIZATION: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

16. LAW OF LIES: Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

17. LAW OF PROBLEM SOLVING: The solving of the problem lies in finding the solvers.

18. LAW OF DISCOVERIES: Great discoveries are made by mistake.

19. LAW OF LISTENER: A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Best Funny English Language Mistakes : Part 1

I don't know from where these lines have came, but they are indeed very funny. I have collected them over floating mails and over Internet.

People sometimes uses English language in very funny way. Enjoy the collection of best funny English language mistakes.

1. Teacher in Classroom: Don’t try to talk in front of my back…!!.
2. Class teacher once said: "Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!".
3. Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls' hostel pulling cigarette...? ".
4. Indian Teacher: I'm going out of the world to England...!
5. Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father…!!!.
6. Teacher in a furious mood, “Write down your name and father of your name!!”.
7. Don't laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down..!!.
8. “ Shh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college".
9. She Started her introduction, "Hi, I am Jane, Married with two kids".
10. "I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board.
11. "Will you hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF".
12. "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter".
13. "Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!".
14. Teacher to his students "Do you know? I have 2 daughters. Both are girls!!!".
15. Teacher Scold “If u Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U”.
16. Teacher to students: do not spit outside, the understanding people will suffer.
17. Principal, "No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police”.
18. Teacher, “Ask the outstanding student to come inside”.
19. The girl with the mirror please comes here....{Means: girl with).
20. "Hey, from tomorrow onward you both come together separately".

Marathi Majedar Questions

These are some funny marathi questions which makes us to think. Do you have answer to these ??

Marathi majedar, funny questions that are hard to answer.

1. अनुभवी डॉक्टर ही प्रैक्टिस का करतात ?
2. आपला जन्म इतरांसाठी झाला आहे तर इतर लोक कशासाठी जन्माला आलेत ?
3. शेंगदाना ऑइल शेंगदान्यापासून, सन फ्लावर ऑइल सुर्यफुलापासुन, तर बेबी ऑइल कशापासून बनवतात ?
4. टारझन ला दाढ़ी का नव्हती ?
5. प्रकाशाचा वेग माहिती आहे, पण अंधाराचा वेग किती असतो ?
6. गोल पिज़्ज़ा नेहमी चौकोनी बॉक्स मधे का पाठवतात ?
7. बांधकाम पूर्ण झालेल्या इमारतीला 'बिल्डिंग' का म्हणतात ?
8. फ्री गिफ्ट म्हणजे काय? गिफ्ट तर फ्री'च असत ना.
9. २१ म्हणजे ट्वेंटी वन , ३१ म्हणजे थर्टी वन , तर ११ म्हणजे वन्टी वन का नाही ?